to raise a child, first train his parents

The word upbringing means that you train, educate and nurture a child by using the principles and rules of educating and training a child. Raising a child is the most important goal and duty of parents, Kids are the mirror of their parent’s behavior. Part of the moral education of children creates from the behavior and Speaking of parents, so you have to be careful in your behavior. Upbringing a human is nurturing the body and spirit, he is on any of that to perfection worthy of his reach. In other words, training man means to provide the ground for growth and Nurturing talent in the internal and Physical and mental strength and to attain to the fullest desirable.


The effect of parental behavior on children’s upbringing:

One of the most important factors that, effects on the personality of the humans is family. Man from the beginning of the birth to the death, growth and achieve elevation in the family. Family and relationships between them effects on the emotions, feelings, thinking and behavior of children. Growth and development and the health of mental and physical behavior of the man is rooted in the family. One of the most important needs of the children is the serenity in family. The lack of security and lack of love, abuse spirit of children and makes them suffering from disease and anxiety.

Children are constantly analyzing their parents’ behavior, so any wrong behavior may mislead them and affect their future. Since each person’s future is influenced by their childhood, it is better to be more careful about the behaviors we have with children.

Children consider parents not only the most important people in their lives, but also the most important people in the world. If the child does not receive the love and affection of the parents, it is natural that their self-esteem will be suffer, so that he will no longer love himself, and this causes him to dislike his appearance in adulthood and do surgeries to change his self.

The results of studies on the consequences of child abuse have shown that abused children, during adolescence, do self-destructive behaviors such as suicide, using drugs, Alcohol and do anti-social behaviors, such as stealing and destroying other people’s property. In addition, after being a parent they persecute their children, so this vicious cycle causes the lack of worthy men and women who should be trained for the affairs of the country for a better tomorrow, and the lack of these people in the society and in the family put the society in danger.


Encourage and punishment:

Every human being naturally loves himself and wants that others respect and appreciate his character. Proper, appropriate and timely encouragement boosts self-confidence in humans. Unlike the punishment, courage is one of the deterrents that prefers to be aspirations that give strength to human beings.

Encouragement and punishment is one of the tools that parents use to raise their children. In psychology and education, encouragement and punishment is one of the important factors of learning. Encouragement and punishment is one of the important indicators of human relations that their correct actions provide the grounds for human relations. Encouragement and discipline cover a wide range of activities. And affects many other indicators.


1. Encouragement:

Encouragement in the word has different meanings: to excite, to praise someone and to encourage him to something. Punishment in the word is: making someone aware of something, conscious,

to make known something, to punish.


A few tips about the effectiveness of encouragement:

1. The reason for the encouragement must be specified. While encouraging, the child should understand why he or she has been praised.

2. Rewards are usually paid for progress and success and are different from bribes. Bribes are usually paid before work is done. Encouragement without care may be in the form of a Bribe and make the child’s expectations more.

3. Reward and punishment is effective if it is appropriate to the action and in time.

4. Encouragement should be from time to time and in front of the child’s outstanding tasks, not permanently and for each task. Because in this case it has no effect.

5. Encouragement is not for happiness, but the child’s work is really worthy of encouragement.


2. Punishment:

Unfortunately, some parents consider corporal punishment to be the only way to raise their children. Corporal punishment means beating, which is unfortunately still somehow common. It must be seen that Better ways can be used instead of corporal punishment. Corporal punishment has various effects on the child’s behavior and mood. Experts believe that in raising children we should not use corporal punishment because it causes behavioral disorders. Children who are physically punished become more anxious and aggressive than other children.

Children who are punished by adults, the children avoid them and as a result adults have less opportunity to raise their children. Threats and corporal punishment are not constructive because the child may not seem to commit the offense for fear of being beaten, but he may not give up his ugly habit.


Some other ways instead of harsh punishment are:

  1. Deprivation: taking his favorite devices-
  2. Deleting points: like not watching Tv


The principles of good punishment are:

  1. The Punishment that is commensurate with the child’s mistake and should be done immediately after committing the mistake.
  2. The Punishment should not humiliate the child and provoke his anger.
  3. Punishment must be fixed and if it does not follow the rules, punishment is inevitable.
  4. Punishment should be accompanied by reasoning so that the child does not consider it impartial and unfair.



Aggression and violence can be overt or covert. Obvious violence is easier to detect and addresses the adversary, physically or verbally. This opponent can even be damaged indirectly, for example, its toy can be torn down, its exercise book can be striped, or one of its tools can be stolen. Obvious violence can even be applied to a replacement person or an object. For example, Tina is 2 years old, and if her older sister does not allow her to enter her room, Tina will take her mother instead. The mother is an alternative here. But hidden violence is more difficult to detect. They are not considered bad people. While all these cases are a kind of hidden violence.

aggressive behaviors are one of the most common human behavioral disorders. According to studies, a large percentage of children’s behavioral problems in different cases are related to aggression.

From a scientific point of view, aggression is a tendency in a person that manifests itself in the form of beating, killing and destroying. Something that the person shows as a reaction and it’s not appropriate for the others. This person has a pain inside him that he is afraid to repeat it. And because of this he retaliates against someone.

There is a sense of aggression and violence in children, whether we like it or not. So we should not force the child to stop it. We may ask ourselves, where did the child learn this? Aggression usually starts when the child has the ability to engage in violent behavior, so from the age of 2, the child can easily express himself.


One of the reasons for a child’s aggression is learning.

That is, if the child witness’s parental violence with other people. Learns this behavior. Unfortunately, parents watch violent programs alongside children. This behavior causes anxiety symptoms in children.


Harass of children

One of the most common behaviors in children is harassing. Children are more likely to use force to satisfy their desires, and if the parents don’t respond appropriately to the child they get used to it. In this article, we will talk about the correct behavior of parents.


Proper behavior of parents with children harass

Harassing is an avoidant behavior in children, and a child who is harass wants to dominate those around him with this behavior. If you try to satisfy your child’s wishes by coercing him, the child will find that the result of his coercion is the fulfillment of his wishes, and this tool is used in similar cases.

The best thing to do against a child’s anger is to be inattentive and stick to your word. Show your child that your judgment does not change with his violence. Do not be angry with your child’s anger, do not retaliate and act as if you do not realize his anger and your daily interactions and normal life during the child’s anger. Do Tell your child that he can go back to the family whenever he is not angry and decides to do what you want, and in any case your opinion will remain the same and he will accept it and you don’t accept all of his wishes.


How family conflicts affect children’s moods

It’s a fact that most of the behavioral problems of children in the home and school environment reflect the complex interpersonal and behavioral conditions of family members, especially parents, they should provide a safe and peaceful environment at home for the mental health of children.

One of the important needs of a child is peace in the family environment. Lack of security and deprivation of love disturbs the child’s spirit and makes him sick and anxious. As it is seen in the present study, childhood punishment can cause a vicious cycle and this problem can continue from generation to generation. In addition, it seems that Working mothers are free to bear the innumerable expectations of their children due to their distance from them, and in the few hours they spend with them, they show more affection for them.

On the other hand, Children who become ill frequently are more likely to be abused due to the burden of hard work on the family, and children aged 3–12years due to curiosity and inactivity and rebellious and moody children increase the chances of abusing parents due to psychological pressure.

Monitor Children in high-risk families such as poverty, unemployment, low levels of education, overcrowding, and poor living conditions; and if there is evidence of child abuse or neglect, Through the correct process of communication with family members and arranging counseling and guidance sessions and teaching various psychotherapy techniques, try to solve the problems and correct coping and compromise with stresses which is the most important case of abuse behaviors and  With Raising  the level of awareness and changing the behavior of parents, help children to Get rid of this silent pain.



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